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Toxic Toxic in-laws parents

book series psychology every day

Author: Susan Forward

Title: Toxic Parents

translated: Richard Grażyński

second edition

Jacek Santorski & Co, Publishing Agency

Warsaw 2006

One of the biggest bestsellers of psychological

Susan Forward Patients are people beaten by their own parents. Physically or mentally. Criticized, harassed cruel jokes, burdened by guilt, sexually harassed or ... desperately protected. Few of them prior to treatment were aware that they were destroyed destructive impact of toxic parents, skillfully seed in the eternal child trauma, a sense of humiliation. Children of toxic parents, entering adulthood, have undermined self-esteem, leading in turn to self-destructive behavior. Always, even factual merit, they feel worthless, despite a loving partner - the unloved, despite the success in life - nonconformists. These feelings stem largely from the fact that as children are deprived of self-confidence and thrown into guilt. And becoming adults, they can not lose this weight, which is reflected in every aspect of their lives.

fragment

"I do it for your own good"

[...] Many parents still believe that physical punishment is the only effective way of transferring moral principles and norms of behavior. Many of these lessons are carried out in the name of religion. Nothing works so far not been used to justify the beatings, but also so wrong as the Bible.

[...] Those parents who often believe in the innate tendency of children to evil. They believe that the harsh treatment will protect the child against corruption. Proclaim such sentences as: "I was raised with a rod of walnut, but from time to time I do not completely damaged," or "I need to arouse in him the fear of God" or "She needs to know who's boss" or "He must know what he is allowed, it will obey."

Some parents justify the beating, showing them as an indispensable part of the ritual, which must go through an experience that make your child a harder, braver and stronger. As it was he believed Joe

my father's mother died when he was fourteen his father. I never recovered from that did not. I still can not recover from his loss, and is no longer sixty-four years. Recently he told me that he was brutal for me because I wanted to develop resistance to pain. It was a sick thing, but he built a theory that if you do not feel you will not have to experience pain in life. With hand on heart, I believe he thought that it protects me from harm. He did not want that I survived the pain that he went through when his mother died.

hit, instead of putting Joe's harder and more resistant to injury, making him a timid and wary, much less well-equipped for life. It is absurd to believe that severe physical punishment can have any positive impact on the child.

In fact, studies show that physical discipline is not particularly effective as a punishment, even in the case of specific forms of undesirable behavior. A beat turned out to be only short-term remedy. It raises the children a strong feeling of rage, dreams of revenge and hatred against themselves. It is quite obvious that the mental, emotional and often physical harm caused by physical violence are completely incomparable to any temporary benefits.

from myself I can add only a brief summary. In the future children of the victims become torturers for their loved ones and for other people. Unconsciously design on other trauma, which became their participation.