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shell as a young man pasting

man with a rational mind, intellectual, never give up control outbreaks of emotion, do not lose self-control. As an example, let him serve his father here (this might well be the mother), who punished his son expressing anger weekly barrier. The penalty was inadequate for the offense, disproportionate to the boy's behavior.
" person wants to behave rationally, but not having access to their own emotions, will sometimes behave unpredictably . "

This man was not aware of his own anger, which affected his educational methods and provoked a severe over-reaction. He should find access to your emotions, instead of in a manner uncontrolled flip them for a child or a person weaker than him.

At a time when personality is formed, the child learns the behavior, expressing emotions and feelings in the first row of the household and the environment in which the rears. How adults react spontaneously expressed emotions and feelings of their children, shaping their personality and behavior that occur in adult life.

If the child sees how parents behave towards each other, how they jump at each other's eyes at all, as a second humiliating and degrading - often in the presence of other family members or friends, if you do not control violent emotions towards each other, your child very quickly assimilate these patterns and apply them on the street or at school, at home because no one will allow him to such behavior. Will feared attack by the stronger, in this case the parent, will soon be suppressed because such behavior. After leaving the house somewhere in the rage of the domestic authorities must work off, so oppress the weaker, stabbed a stranger, or kick the defenseless - the loss of his health and often lives.
rage and hatred is a feeling that we could not express in a safe and beneficial for all. We fear them because they tłamsimy in itself. These are feelings that also - and perhaps above all - should be expressed and not suppressed, expressed in a safe manner without causing loss of control over themselves.

Adults and the media are doing a lot of clamor against the atrocities of minors, but few people will have wondered how the young man behind the violence and the propensity to use violence against others. We see EFFECT education, do not bother to reach CAUSES - the reason we are blind. And the loop is closed - aggressive or violent parents raise children damaged psychologically, the result is a society that accepts such a state, or afraid to change anything. Indeed is a good example of parents shine.
I notice all too well that parents too were once children, like children sometime in the future will be parents. What do we get to start life in the future will be transferred to younger generations, enriched by the experience gained from their own home and the environment in which we happen to educate.

Parents and schools accuse each other of lack of young people's social behavior. Once devoted mother to their kids enough attention and interest, today no one has time for that. In order to survive and provide appropriate material status is given to children by giving them twenty-four hour day nurseries, kindergartens, schools, CEDING on impersonal institutions responsible for shaping the child's personality in his ultimate stage of development - from birth to 14 years of age.
The parents and family environment lay the foundations for a mature personality in the future, shaped by emotions and feelings and expressing them in a group of peers or in social behavior. The school aims to develop intellectually and help in the development of what the child has received in the family as a basis. What can be developed without a scratch?

If the family an expression of love and caring parents are aggressive behavior, violence against team-, mutual exploitation, or abuse of children to meet their own expectations, desires and needs, we will have the personality of a young man when he grows up, what standards will apply in your life?

few years back I watched a couple of dogs. He, plain little mongrel She - wilczurka ailing. I was shocked, as these two animals proved the warmth and care. When she oszczeniła, because a barbarian with no regard for her health condition, he allowed her to pair up with another German shepherd, he, the little tyke, gave her the nose as tasty morsels, and endured zgarniał rozłażące puppies in the yard. The bitch died, the dog would get mad with despair. These were the only animals ...

Howtomakelevantacolajeans

Training Home

When we were kids, confirms our belief that the baby and care for yourself is selfish, something wrong and evil. To understand yourself, you must first begin to love yourself healthy love. If you can love and take care of yourself, you'll know how to love and care for others - not in a narcissistic way, not on the principle of subordination of others, not on Suppression and possessiveness. You will be able to share common living space is created, which will create the team-you will be looked with empathy to everything that surrounds you. And so you act.

Growing up, we learn to block and do not express your emotions. They are effectively blocked by our parents. Illustrate this example.
Returning home one day, I can see how three child with great joy and falls into a puddle of them living in the slush. His mother yells from afar, that will beat him. Malec scared numb with fear, not understanding why the play provoked such a violent reaction we have. Spontaneous joy was blocked in an instant. This kind of tiny, insignificant episode is encoded in a child's mind, that in adulthood with the same fury respond to the spontaneity of the family. Any way to express emotion and feelings that he did not like it, napiętnuje communicated to him by the cruelty of their parents.
Few people can express their strong emotions in a manner not detrimental others.

next example. Child zmoczyło panties. It amazed and surprised at what had happened to him. Rozwrzeszczała mother angrily that he will not be changed clothes at the moment, and the punishment will be so long sitting on the potty until you learn to use it. The child, horrified reaction to her mother rozpłakało, which further led her to an explosive reaction to cry. Threatened that, as the youngster will continue to cry, it will beat it and then it will have a reason to cry.
Is science under the influence of fear is good for children? Are these or similar situations in the future will respond with love, or in a rage will "educate" the members of your family?

father of an adolescent son DIY together. In fact, before his father shows off son, how and what to do. When he tries to do something after her, or ask questions, ironically, his father looks at his son and he complains that he can not do anything properly ... The boy grows up, becomes a man, assumed the family, which is treated in the same way he was treated.
Toxic behavior unconsciously pass on from generation to generation. Today we see the effects of black, toxic pedagogy.

Patience and conversation creates a bond between parents and children, then the partners. Aggressive behavior of adult aggressive behavior will wake up in the younger generation. What I was not allowed to safely relieve the house, because no one has learned, will be designed without the participation of consciousness * outside the home, and then stamp mark on the ties between people, the ruined his own life.

use regulations, orders or prohibitions always cause the opposite effect. " And what I do, how you catch me?! ." Training was lifted out of the house, but nobody wants to see! He sees only the effect of the cause of this phenomenon we are blind, because the fault obarczy untouchables parents, and this, for fear of them, we can not do.
It is more convenient to charge a man allowing a crime, than give the responsibility of parents, who have developed in this man such a personality - personality of the offender.

Nobody is born a criminal, a pedophile, a rapist, a recluse, shy or impudent man. These features were shaped in a child by ignorant parents. What was provided by them show up at a later time in the life of an adult man who wyprojektuje other all their shortcomings.
repeat behaviors learned from home we create relationships. It's important we give them - good or bad - in everyday life.

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* projection - in psychology it is a 'mechanism defensive personality, which is to assign another own negative, unacceptable feelings, desires, thoughts, motives, etc. ' (A. Markowski and R. Pawelec: "Great Dictionary foreign words and difficult . WILGA Publisher, Warsaw 2001)

Example Speech As Ceo

humanization of man, or a parent or person

Let me ask some simple questions:

• Who are your parents? "What is the father, what kind of mother? How to specify their personality ?
• How a father shows or showed sadness, anger, anger, joy, contentment to your mother, to you, to your siblings?
• How can a mother, or proved it sadness, anger, anger, joy, satisfaction to your father to you, to your siblings?
• How do parents exhibit or showed sadness, anger, anger, joy, contentment with each other in the presence of all family members and to every one, even to you?
• How your siblings, or turned it anger, anger, joy, contentment in the presence of both parents, in the presence of father, mother, against the younger siblings and to you?
• Do you like the way your family members express their emotions and feelings?
• How do you express your emotions and feelings toward each of the parents and siblings? How and how you express them outside the family home, being in the company of their peers or with respect to the elderly?

If answering honestly the questions above, you can be honest with yourself, at this point I should finish writing the answers to be gained will help you to humanize their parents, and start treating them as people, not supermen. Parents are not nietykalnymi gods, they are not the inviolable authorities from glejtami on infallibility. These are the same people like you, your neighbor or others. They also have parents who have them be educated, or from someone who learned the behavior, express feelings and emotions that have applied for their own families. Their families were also used repression, violence in any form and aggression against children. Communicated and behavior patterns applied in families created by them, enriched their own experience.
one I do not wmówi that the belt or whip someone did a decent man, for fear the violence taught only suppression of what really happened then felt, taught lies and hypocrisy ..

Extreme Introversion Schizoid

Emotions and feelings

How two people can build a really close relationship, if they can not share their emotions and feelings? Yet they serve to communicate what is currently happening in our midst, not as a means to force anything on others.

we have been taught to suppress all emotions, but not taught to express them in a way that would bring a better understanding of themselves and others. We can not talk about your feelings from the "I" do not want to talk about the affirmation of in the belief that they are a sign of weakness.

Many of us can not be fun, because any show of emotions and feelings in the bud suppress even without knowing of it.
"I do not show what - and how - I feel he is in danger!" Think about where he came up with you this view? Think who enforces on you suppressing any expression of emotion, not only of joy or anger?
"Too much is that you do not enjoy, for a moment I'll give you a reason to cry!" Whose paragraph with mostly fell these or similar words? Who is destroying any sense of emotion and calling into question their legitimacy?
"Well, and what are you happy?" That's not reason to rejoice, because: not enough you tried ... could you do better ... you're too stupid to do it well ... " Before who had to hide or even to suppress any feelings, so as not to expose yourself to criticism, did not cause a violent rage, which hit at you?

We do not realize this, how many people live in our interior - father, mother, malignant older sibling, a teacher forever dissatisfied, envious colleague or friend. Their voices internalized model affects our personality, our behavior and decisions on union relations and human relations in general.
How many relationships falling apart, due to lack of ability to talk about their feelings or emotions when one of the two partners will explode after a while, like a volcano, once he "shed" by the ears of hearing about themselves humiliating or degrading opinion?

often not able to open up and talk about their emotions or feelings, together to find a compromise satisfying both sides. Your best bet is to scream in your face - it's your fault! Because we are firmly convinced of his own infallibility, and - as Pawlak with a grenade in his hand - defending his case like a wild animal. And sometimes it can drain from the tone and empathize with your partner? Only that very often we have to be stiff necks to bow my head, or too tightly hold on to the role of ruler, for a little while to get off the pedestal, which have won for themselves.

Reaching the repressed emotions and feelings begin to better understand each other and others. Change the view of many things that seemed so far we have not overcome. We start to control them and they are not us. Consciously express their feelings, which we derive, but they are no longer an automatic reaction, adapted by someone from our past. We begin to use them in the present, accepting responsibility for what comes from us. Being aware of their feelings and emotions do not deny them anymore and do not unwittingly give up their power.

suppression of emotion is to give them control over them. The more you're angry, the more the other person withdraws and closes itself.
When you say: "angry, because ..."," I am angry when ...", "arouses in me ..." , you affirm what you feel, what emotions are you excited at the moment, but I do not answer aggressive action against the person that created in you, but not others feelings. It is a pity that very often such statements are used to infuriate and provoke the fight to the play. How do u Pawlak - reason to be on my side!

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Tale of skittish zajączku ...

In a forest, where there were lots of different animals, there lived a family of hares. Tata hare, when he was a little boy by his parents was so scared that when I grew up and started a family, need a magic potion that gave him courage, but to link to each other, which has suffered his whole family. Tata hare, therefore, no longer take care of the family, as befits an adult rabbit.

Mama hares had no use for her husband, she could not rely on it, so all its clustered zgarniała children and never take her eyes from them, fearing that any of her children did not become wrong, or - God forbid - did not go in the footsteps of his father.

In his gromadce hares mom was a very sensitive child and very curious. She was afraid that it does not upilnuje so all the time he slipped the mind to be never apart, then they can go eat wolves, or may be lost and she will be able to find it on time and to guard against danger.

And so Zajączkowo elapsed childhood under the watchful gaze loving mother who constantly monitor his every move, where he felt so safe.

hare grew, he was sent to school to learn something, but he was so terrified that it is away from his mum that he was not able to learn, although he was intelligent and talented boy.

Since not been able to learn, my mother stopped him in the house that he had custody while she was earning a living. He was back for her, the male arm, which in the house so terribly.

Hare grew up under the watchful eye and loving mother, but when he tried to break free from her nursing wings were filled with fear him, so he quickly returned to his seat, as my mother taught him. Finally went to the clusters of different animals, which are told what they can.

Our rabbit loved adventure but was afraid any experience personally, because sprawiłby pain his mother, who always so afraid of him, at which he did not have care to of themselves. Looked so from a safe distance, listening to their stories and dreaming ... dreaming ... dreamed of. Did not notice that it is capable of a lot that can handle it, what other animals can not - he could fly through the air, which helped him to his friend the falcon. He dreamed of flying but in a way that flew his friends.

hare tried to fly as his friends, but acknowledged that it was not for him, doubted his ability, letting your voice the fear that was not his fear, but fear we are loving it, that trembled over him when he was a boy. He did not see that constantly runs away, even though there was nothing about him, which would be a stimulant to escape danger. He ran out of habit, without checking whether you really need to fear if they are only imaginary fears.

bad he the b yl, sought a rational explanation, but still returned to the same place, because he had coded in the head that has anything run fast would it be - without looking back, without checking whether the situation requires it. My mother had taught him that fear is a signal to flee head over heels and not the opportunity to see whether that is true. Did not distinguish between signals that it only had a boost to explore the world, and not the real danger. For him, everything was dangerous ...

Distance from it amounted to treason, he felt obliged to be faithful to the Mother of not seeing the reduction, addiction, enslavement. It was and is his first love for a woman. Another will not, because would betray the one you love the most. For another woman is no longer room in his heart ...


Horror parents was transmitted to children. Even when they are already adults, this mechanism will work in them - destroying creativity and curiosity about the world, because everything would be dangerous - as in childhood, the way in which parents gave them.

world is exactly what we will create it yourself. If you see a constant danger, it will be dangerous for you at every step. If you learn to use fear to explore the world - it will be as it will create it yourself, without imposed on the eyes "glasses" that you set up parents in childhood and are viewing the world, despite the fact that you have a childhood long behind him.

Remove glasses, you begin to see the world with our eyes, its sensitivity and not vaccinated in childhood, limiting and destructive self-expression, intimacy and all ties. You can change this, but you need patience.

Just as parents we patiently treasures to behaviors that they thought that they would protect us, just as you have demonstrated maximum patience to change it. You'll run but you can go back to the same place and see what caused the escape, and whether it was worth running. Ideal odróżnisz real danger of the imaginary, which has been vaccinated for the convenience of an adult ... but not for you.