When we were kids, confirms our belief that the baby and care for yourself is selfish, something wrong and evil. To understand yourself, you must first begin to love yourself healthy love. If you can love and take care of yourself, you'll know how to love and care for others - not in a narcissistic way, not on the principle of subordination of others, not on Suppression and possessiveness. You will be able to share common living space is created, which will create the team-you will be looked with empathy to everything that surrounds you. And so you act.
Growing up, we learn to block and do not express your emotions. They are effectively blocked by our parents. Illustrate this example.
Returning home one day, I can see how three child with great joy and falls into a puddle of them living in the slush. His mother yells from afar, that will beat him. Malec scared numb with fear, not understanding why the play provoked such a violent reaction we have. Spontaneous joy was blocked in an instant. This kind of tiny, insignificant episode is encoded in a child's mind, that in adulthood with the same fury respond to the spontaneity of the family. Any way to express emotion and feelings that he did not like it, napiętnuje communicated to him by the cruelty of their parents.
Few people can express their strong emotions in a manner not detrimental others.
next example. Child zmoczyło panties. It amazed and surprised at what had happened to him. Rozwrzeszczała mother angrily that he will not be changed clothes at the moment, and the punishment will be so long sitting on the potty until you learn to use it. The child, horrified reaction to her mother rozpłakało, which further led her to an explosive reaction to cry. Threatened that, as the youngster will continue to cry, it will beat it and then it will have a reason to cry.
Is science under the influence of fear is good for children? Are these or similar situations in the future will respond with love, or in a rage will "educate" the members of your family?
father of an adolescent son DIY together. In fact, before his father shows off son, how and what to do. When he tries to do something after her, or ask questions, ironically, his father looks at his son and he complains that he can not do anything properly ... The boy grows up, becomes a man, assumed the family, which is treated in the same way he was treated.
Toxic behavior unconsciously pass on from generation to generation. Today we see the effects of black, toxic pedagogy.
Patience and conversation creates a bond between parents and children, then the partners. Aggressive behavior of adult aggressive behavior will wake up in the younger generation. What I was not allowed to safely relieve the house, because no one has learned, will be designed without the participation of consciousness * outside the home, and then stamp mark on the ties between people, the ruined his own life.
use regulations, orders or prohibitions always cause the opposite effect. " And what I do, how you catch me?! ." Training was lifted out of the house, but nobody wants to see! He sees only the effect of the cause of this phenomenon we are blind, because the fault obarczy untouchables parents, and this, for fear of them, we can not do.
It is more convenient to charge a man allowing a crime, than give the responsibility of parents, who have developed in this man such a personality - personality of the offender.
Nobody is born a criminal, a pedophile, a rapist, a recluse, shy or impudent man. These features were shaped in a child by ignorant parents. What was provided by them show up at a later time in the life of an adult man who wyprojektuje other all their shortcomings.
repeat behaviors learned from home we create relationships. It's important we give them - good or bad - in everyday life.
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* projection - in psychology it is a 'mechanism defensive personality, which is to assign another own negative, unacceptable feelings, desires, thoughts, motives, etc. ' (A. Markowski and R. Pawelec: "Great Dictionary foreign words and difficult . WILGA Publisher, Warsaw 2001)
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